B and B Party
by lela12344
Summary: Kurt and Kitty are getting married. But first they have to have their bachelor and bachelorette parties! Finished!
1. Chapter 1

**KItty and Kurt are getting married. But of course first there is the bachelor and bachelorette party! Kurt's is 23 years old, and Kitty is 22.**

"Come on Kurt. It's just a bar." Scott told him casually. Logan, Scott, Hank, and Evan were hosting Kurt's bachelor party. It was tradition to have a bachelor party. Scott had one, also planned by Logan the night before his marriage to Jean. So here they were at the dirtiest, nastiest, part of Bayville driving to a bar Logan had picked out. The bar Logan picked wasn't just a bar though. It was a full out strip club, complete with rotating poles in the middle of each table. Kurt who was a religious Catholic man, quickly decided this was definitely the place he didn't want to have his party.

"Logan are you sure zis is where we should be? I mean I am getting married tomorrow." Kurt asked hesitantly.

"Oh lighten up Blue Boy. We're here to get drunk and have a good time." Even though Kurt had his image inducer on, Logan still liked to tease him. Logan strolled up to the bar, and ordered each of them a bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Logan zat is too much money. Too much." Logan just glared at him.

"Okay. Okay. I guess it is fine." Kurt agreed scrunching down under Logan's harsh stare.

Soon Kurt got into the swing of things and actually started enjoying himself.

**At the Institute for Gifted Youngsters...**

"Kit, we are throwin' ya a party! This is your last night as a free woman!" Rogue declared. Of course Kitty Pryde would be the only girl in the institute to decline a bachelorette party.

"You can't let all of our decorating go to waste!" Rogue said motioning to all of the decorations around her bedroom. Pillows were scattered all over the floor, and most of the institute's girls were sitting on them wearing pajamas. The room was covered in shiny blue and silver streamers. In a cooler, was lots of beer, and other alcoholic drinks.

"Okay, fine. Just as long as I don't have to drink any alcohol. I'm not having a hangover on my wedding day." the skinny, brown haired girl replied.

"Katherine Pryde what are we gonna do with you? You won't drink, you won't even let us play dirty music. This is a party where your supposed to kick back and have some fun."

Suddenly the doorbell rang. A wicked grin appeared on Rogue's face. Smirks and smiles appeared on everyone else's faces too.

"I've got it." Rogue jumped up, and ran down the stairs to answer. A few minutes later she reappeared.

"O my god..." There next to Rogue, stood a male stripper. He was dressed in the most ridiculous outfit Kitty had ever scene. Purple, orange, and blue sparkles covered the too tight fitting shirt, and he had virtually no pants on.

"Hello, ladies. My name is Antonio, and I will make your dreams come true." he seduced with a cheesy Mexican accent. Kitty almost burst out laughing.

"Aww, what the heck, Rogue get me a couple of beers. Just can't over do it." she said trying to contain her giggles. As she looked around the room, everyone was doing the same thing as her. The stripper pressed play, on the boom box he had brought in on his shoulder.

As Kitty continued watching, she called out to Jean. "I'm sure Scott's chest is better than that."

"It is." Jean replied as Antonio swung his shirt around in time to the music.

"And his muscles are much bigger." Jean said analyzing the stripper.

"Jubes, isn't Bobby cooler than Antonio."

"Umm, duh." The already drunk Jubilee laughed at Kitty's bad pun. Around the room, the other girls were comparing Antonio to their boys. Antonio was losing. He slowly took of his pants, and then grabbed one of the chairs and danced around it, trying to gain back their attention. Now all he had on was his underwear.

"Everyone look at me!" Antonio whined. "It's me you want!" At this Kitty, along with everyone else, finally burst out laughing. Antonio pouted and shut of his boom box. "If you aren't going to appreciate me, then I'll just find someone who will!"

"No, Antonio, were sorry, please continue with your... performance." Kitty giggled a suddenly wicked gleam in her eyes. Rogue had just given her a very interesting piece of information. Antonio had a phobia of mutants.

**Back to the bar...**

Scott was now officially drunk. The X-men's team leader had, for once cut loose, and was now severely sloshed. Kurt and Hank were much less drunk. Logan wasn't drunk at all thanks to his healing factor. Kurt was getting very friendly with a few girls when Logan spotted a few men with the words FOH on their jackets.

"Hey, boys I got a better idea of what we can do tonight."

**Kay so what did ya think of the first chapter? More to come, so stay tuned in! Please review...**


	2. Chapter 2

So picture this. A stripper running around the Institute for Gifted Youngsters completely naked, screaming about mutant monsters at the top of his lungs. This was what Kitty Pryde, and most of the people at the institute had just witnessed.

Jean and Rogue had the brilliant idea to bring a stripper to Kitty's bachelorette party. Not just a stripper. A stripper terrified of mutants and other spandex wearing super beings. Now the man was running a zig-zagged line to the front gates of the mansion.

Antonio had been projecting his thoughts loud and clear when he had started dancing. Jean Grey just had to read them. First thoughts: I am the greatest man on the planet these women will love me. The women didn't think so. Second thoughts: They are laughing! Why are they laughing? I am so sexy, it must have clogged their minds. Third thoughts: I will not stand for this! These so called men can be nothing compared to me! I am Antonio the Great! Final thoughts: Omygod Omygod MUTANT mustrun mustrun mustrun... Jean had burst into laughter along with everyone else as the man ran off.

**Flashback... Three minutes ago.**

Antonio was dancing on... and on... and on. He had thrown off his underwear a few moments earlier. All of the girls cringed. That was when Kitty decided to get rid of Antonio. Rogue had told Kitty that he was afraid of mutants. It was time to put this information to use. A plan had formed.

"Hey, Rogue would you throw me that beer?" she asked innocently enough. When the beer came flying at her, she "accidentally" phased through the bottle, causing it to splatter on the floor. The look on Antonio's face was absolutely priceless. He had rushed down the stairs faster than Quicksilver, and was out the door screaming. Tears of laughter were streaming down everyone's faces as they rushed to the window to see Antonio off. Jamie was standing, frozen in front of the gates, at the sight of the naked man running toward him, and in the stripper's hurry to escape, he bumped into Jamie. The result had the girls rolling on the floor. Numerous Jamies were scattered every which way, and Antonio had let out a terrific imitation of a classic horror movie scream. Every person in the institute had now, if not before, heard the screaming and rushed to the windows.

Lucky for Antonio, a police car had been passing by the institute when he ran out. However, it apparently isn't a good idea to throw yourself completely naked at an armed police officer. The officer stepped out of his car quickly, and calmly. Then he just as quickly, but not so calmly fumbled with his taser gun. Somehow the officer had managed to taser Antonio and then himself. Both were now laying on the ground unconscious. Instead of the doing the "adult" thing and helping the poor men, the fully drunken girls had started laughing harder, if possible.

Professor Xavier, had of course, rushed out to help with a few men still left in the institute, requesting that they take them to the infirmary. Jamie was still frozen at the gates. The professor had slowly rolled up to the dazed boy, and suggested that he go inside and sit down. So, Jamie wobbled up to the front door, walked inside, and promptly fainted on the welcome mat. Professor Xavier just sighed, and called the men back to go put Jamie also in the infirmary. Xavier rolled up to his study, shaking his head. Once he got inside however, he began laughing much like the girls had earlier.Of course those girls would get into trouble he thought to himself. They did after all, live at the Institute for Gifted Youngsters.

**Now...**

All of the girls were finally breathing again.

"Told ya it was a good idea." Rogue giggled to Jean. The Rogue who was normally a goth. Now the Rogue who now had absolutely no make up on and had pink glitter scattered all around her hair, actually giggled.

"That was the funniest thing I have ever seen." Kitty squealed, still laughing.

"Okay Kitty, now it's time for some gifts." Tabitha slurred. She was the one who had drank, by far, the most alcohol.

"I don't need gifts. It's not even my wedding yet."

"These are just gag gifts! You can refuse gag gifts." protested Rogue.

"Me first! Mine's the bestest gift in the whole widest world!" Tabitha had shoved Rogue's box out of the way, and plopped her's down right on Kitty's lap. Since Tabitha was the craziest of the group, all of the other girls just sat back and watched.

"What is this?" Kitty asked as she held up a blue, one piece outfit covered in fur.

"Well, yah know how Kurt is blue and fuzzy?" asked Tabitha. Kitty nodded.

"Now you can look just like him!" she screamed throwing her hands up in the air.

"Sorry Tabby, but I don't think we'll be able to use it on the honeymoon."

"But, why?" After a moment of silence, all of the girls started laughing again.

"Roguey your next!"

"Here, you might actually be able to us this." smirked Rogue.

Kitty unwrapped the present and found some very nice looking lingerie also in a blue color.

"Thanks Rogue..."

After everything was unwrapped Kitty had gotten the blue suit, the blue lingerie, blue suckers, and surprisingly enough a German language notebook.

The notebook was from Rahne, who still didn't get the whole honeymoon thing.

"Thanks you guys, I'll be sure to use most of these."

**Next chapter we see what the boys are doing!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok story alert people, I got at least 4 of you who didn't review... For punishment, I will feed you to my giant pet Seagull... I will give you this chapter to beg for my forgiveness. Anyway I do really appreciate reviews : )**

"Logan we are not doing zis!" slurred Kurt as he stumbled behind Logan to where the men in the FOH jackets were. Logan, on the other hand, just ignored Kurt and casually approached the men. Hank and Scott were sitting at a table across the room, watching.

"So boys," Logan said slapping each man roughly on the back. "care for another drink?"

"I would, but I'm can't accept anything from a mutant. Sorry." one man sneered, remembering Logan from television.

"What do these letters stand for again, boys?" The first man rallied the other men.

"Friends of Humanity. We're supposed to protect humans from the mutant menace. And clearly, you are a menace." The other two men stood up the first one.

"Well, boys good luck with that." Logan replied, swinging the first punch.

**Thirty minutes later...**

The X-Men were on the road. Before Logan had... taken care of the men, he had asked them a question. Where was their headquarter? The men answered quickly, as to not be killed, even though it didn't stop Logan. Now Logan had the idea of hitting as many FOH headquarters as possible before they had to go home. Scott and Hank had been talked into it quickly. Kurt was the only one who disagreed, but Logan bought him another bottle of Jack Daniels, and he finally decided to go.

Now all of them were in the X-Van driving to the next FOH headquarter they were planing to hit. The first one they hit had been small, with only twenty people or so. Logan still thought it was fun. Since he was the only one who wasn't drunk, he was driving. Scott sat next to him in the passenger's seat, and Kurt and Hank were in back.

"Loggy what strateg-ery are we gonna use on this next fight?" Scott slurred. After about the kid's tenth beer, he had started to loosen up. Now he was more drunk than Logan could have imagined him being.

"Can't say that we have a strategy other than regular violence, Cyke."

"Oh no, no, no, we can't have that." Logan watched curiously as Scott took out a small computer installed in the van, and began typing. In the Gambit and Kurt were down right laughing at some of the things Scott was mumbling under his breath. If this was the "drunk Scott" then Logan would have to get him loaded more often.

"Der' we go." He slurred proudly, as he put the computer away. "I've checked the main computers known information of the Friendses of Humanity and entered our location into the computer's and..."

"And what, Slim?" Logan asked Scott who had stopped mid sentence, and was currently asleep, drooling on the seat.

"And the little computers telling the big computer where to go." He finished, waking up, without skipping a beat. The other men sat staring at Scott in disbelief.

"Even stone cold drunk he can work out a battle strategy better than us." Kurt muttered up to Logan.

Logan looked at the computer. It said that they could hit five more headquarters before they had to go home if they didn't waste anymore time.

"Let's roll."

Logan peeled out on the road leaving a rubber streak, as he turned around.

One thing was certain though. This was going to be a night that the Friends of Humanity would never forget.

**Four and a half hours later...**

"Where are we goin' now Loggy?" Scott asked excitedly.

"Well, considering it's almost four thirty in the morning, I say we go home." All of the boys were tired. Kurt was almost asleep, and Hank was knocked out, his head hanging out the open window. Scott however, was wide awake. Logan wondered how he did it. Slim was by far the most drunk, and the most drunk normally went to sleep first. Instead he was mumbling about how he wanted to fight some more bad guys and drink some more beer. Logan sighed. Scott's mumbling was getting annoying.

"Okay Slim, why don't ya just lay your head down, and go ta bed."

"But I'm not tired." When Scott turn to face Logan, his eyes were wide open, he had a strange smile on his face, and his head was cocked to the side. Logan stared at him through the mirror. Scott continued to look at him like that until Logan asked him a question.

"You sure your not tired?"

"Of course not you silly goose." Scott replied as he tapped Logan on the nose. Okay now he was getting scary.

"Doesn't Jeannie have pretty hair?" he asked suddenly. Logan ignored him and kept driving.

"Oh have you seen her butt, and her boobs? The woman is beautiful, and she's my wife!"

Logan finally snapped. "Would ya shut up about Jean already?" he roared, as his claws erupted from his knuckles. Scott was frozen, staring at Logan. Then he started screaming.

"Help, Loggy's gonna eat me! Help!" Their fearless leader was screaming like a little girl. Hank was awake now, along with the almost sleeping Kurt.

"Logan say your sorry before he jumps out the car" Kurt yelled over Scott's mindless shrieking. Scott was currently trying to unbuckle himself, and jump out the car door at the same time. Thankfully, he couldn't seem to get the buckle undone, but the car door was swinging freely on the highway. Scott still tried to jump out, so he too was hanging out over the highway. Logan reached over and pulled him back in, as Hank shut the door.

"God damn it, okay, okay, I'm sorry!" Scott gave no response. Logan looked over at him and found that he was finally asleep.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as Logan turned the car around and headed home.

**Warning... Never go ANYWHERE with a drunk Scott! : )**


	4. Chapter 4

Professor Xavier sighed, and continued to rub his temples. He noticed he had been doing this lately, especially tonight. The boys had just gotten home, and were currently trying to get in the front door. Logan had raced out of the car, when it was still moving, yelling very loudly, about how he was never going to another bachelor's party with Scott, and ran up to his room. Hank and Kurt opened the door much more slowly and proceeded to fall out of the car. Scott was still sleeping in the passenger's seat. Xavier wheeled over to him slowly and sighed again. Scott had black permanent marker all over his face. He was given a long, curly mustache, extended eyebrows, and a detailed "tattoo" of Jean on his right cheek. Xavier went away from him and up to Hank.

"There are three people in the infirmary who need to be analyzed for injuries."

"You got it Professor." Before Xavier could say anymore, he was interrupted by a screaming from the car.

"Professor, Professor, Loggy tried to kill me!"

"Now Scott, Logan would never do something like that... to you... I don't think..." he muttered under his breath as he calmed Scott.

**Infirmary...**

Antonio was finally awake. He looked around and found that he was in a hospital of some sort. The police officer was in a bed next to him and... a boy. Yes, that is all he is. A normal, non-mutant boy. As Antonio was convincing himself it was all a dream, Hank was stumbling down to the infirmary, whistling off key to It's a Small World.

Hank walked in. Antonio looked up. Then there was a lot of screaming.

The Professor sighed hearing yet another scream. He had forgotten to tell Hank about Antonio.

Antonio looked at the big, blue monster in the doorway, and immediately began backing away, off the bed. In the process, he had ripped the IV off of his arm, and woken Jamie and the police officer. Antonio fell from the bed, and onto the floor, grabbing for something to protect himself with. He reached up and found the IV was dangling next to him. Antonio snagged it, and charged Hank head on, screaming a battle cry. Hank just put out his hand, stopping Antonio. Then he calmly smacked him across the head, knocking him unconscious.

"Finally that guy shut up." Hank mumbled under his breath, picking up Antonio, and placing him back in bed.

"Hank your back!" Jamie exclaimed smiling, and got up to give him a hug.

"Yep." Hank looked over Jamie quickly giving him the okay to go.

The police officer, however looked to be in shock. He was staring off into space above Hank's head.

"Are you in shock? I think he's in shock." Hank began, talking to himself.

"Dude, are you okay?" he asked waving his hand in front of the man's eyes. The officer snapped out of it a few minutes later, blinking his eyes suddenly.

"Where am I?"

"Wellll, you are in the Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters' infirmary." Hank slurred.

"Are you drunk?"

"No..."

"Do you know it's illegal to be involved in any medical evaluation when you're intoxicated?"

"No..."

"You're coming with me." The officer said as he brought out his handcuffs and slipped them onto Hank's wrists. Hank, who had never even been charged with speeding, went wide eyed, staring at the police officer.

"B-but aren't you supposed to read me my rights?"

"Oh... right." Hank's head fell into his head as the officer read them.

Kurt quickly teleported up to his bedroom that he shared with Kitty. Immediately he was attacked by several women, shoving him out of the room rather violently.

"Don't ya know it's bad luck ta see the bride the night before the weddin'? screamed Rogue. "Or is that in the wedding dress? Well, it doesn't matter anyway! Leave now!"

"Yeah now you ruined the entire marriage! Now your gonna have bad luck forever!" Tabitha yelled loudly. A door opened next to Kurt and Kitty's room.

"Would ya keep it down? Some people are tryin' ta sleep!" roared Logan. Across from Logan's room, Gambit's door opened, and he began cussing Logan out. This set off a chain reaction stretching down the entire hall. After a few minutes of everyone arguing, Logan finally roared loudly over everyone.

"If ya all don't go ta sleep now, then were gonna have some serious trouble!" Everyone listened except for everyone in the bachelorette party. They were now on top of Kurt practically attacking him. Logan barged into the group pulling Kurt away from them, and yelling at him to teleport. He did. Right down to the front yard where Xavier was finally making some progress calming Scott down. However Logan's presence made him go crazy again.

"Loggy's back! Return of the Loggy!"

"Scott, he's not going to hurt you!" Xavier yelled frustrated. The Professor reached up, and gave everyone in the institute a telepathic blast. This made everyone in distance go to sleep. All was finally quiet. Xavier fell asleep right there on the front lawn in his wheel chair. It had been a very long night.


	5. Chapter 5

**The final chapter...**

Ororo Monroe entered Kitty and Rogue's room. She was the only one of the Senior X-Men that wasn't going to be tired, with a killer hangover, judging from what she saw last night. Even the Professor was gonna be feeling something.

Ororo looked at her kitten sleeping peacefully. She had known this girl for five years, and in those five years, a lot had happened. They had all become a family, and she had become a surrogate mother to Kitty. Now her little girl was all grown up, and getting married. Ororo sighed softly. It was time to wake her up.

"Kitten, it is time to get up."

"Not yet 'Ro. I don't have to go to anywhere." Kitty mumbled as she snuggled deeper into her pillow.

"Well, I guess Kurt will be disappointed when he is left at the altar."

Kitty sat straight up in bed. "I'm getting married."

Her wide eyes told Ororo, that she was now completely awake.

"I'm getting married today." She repeated, almost frantically.

"Yes Kitten, you are in fact, getting married today."

Once Kitty's information was confirmed by Ororo, she jumped up from the bed, and began to run around wildly, grabbing the things she would need to prepare for her wedding.

"Kitty, settle down. I have got everything covered. Do not worry." Ororo calmly assured Kitty. Kitty sat down on the bed, and tried to relax. Ororo turned around and grimaced. Now came the hard part. Waking up the rest of the girls.

**The Yard...**

Professor Xavier woke up confused. Where was he? Then the events of last night hit him. Around the mansion everyone was getting up. Except for the men currently sleeping on the yard. Scott was tipped over the side of the chair in the van, leaning so that his head was almost touching the ground. Kurt was on top of Logan, and Hank was no where to be seen.

_"It's time to wake up."_

All of the men on the ground groaned loudly.

"Vat do you mean Professor?" Kurt mumbled.

"It's yer weddin' day Kurt." Logan spoke, with his hand covering his face.

"No it isn't. That's tomorrow."

"It is tomorrow."

"No vay!"

**A few hours later...**

"Kit ya gotta stop crying!" Rogue practically screamed at Kitty. Rogue and all of the other girls from the party were helping with make up and hair along with Ororo. Or at least trying. Kitty was a complete wreck. She couldn't stop crying."

"Isn't this supposed to be happy?" Tabitha mumbled under her breath to Jubilee.

"I don't know. Wedding people are weird. They always cry for no reason." Kitty stopped crying for a moment to glare up at Jubilee.

"Here my Kitten. This should help you calm down." Ororo came into the room carrying her favorite type of ice cream. Kitty quickly grabbed it from her hands, and stuffed her face.

"Thanks Storm." she said, her mouth full.

"Ugg. This is gonna be a long day." Tabitha muttered to Jubilee. Kitty glared.

**Kurt...**

"How can ya not even have your suit on? Yer gettin' married to my Half Pint in thirty damn minutes!" Logan roared at Kurt. The Kurt who was currently staring blankly at the wall in his room, not wearing a shred of dress clothing for his own wedding.

"Oh hello, Logan. I'm not sure I can do this." he said perfectly clear.

Logan's gaze softened. "Come on elf. Yer gonna do fine."

"Yeah Kurt get up and get ready." Hank joined in. After a bit of explaining to the officer, he was let go. Which surprised everyone at the institute. They suspected the Professor had something to do with it.

Kurt took a deep breath and looked peaceful. "Okay, let's go."

**Thirty minutes later...**

"Hey kiddo. You ready?" Logan knocked on the door quietly. All of the seats were filled, and almost every super hero known was there and accounted for. Now all they need was the bride.

A "Sure. Come on in." came from the other side of the door. He entered quickly. His little girl was breathtaking.

"Oh, Logan!" she flew into his arms. "I'm not good enough for him! My chest is too flat, and my hair is too bo-"

"Have ya looked at yer self yet Kit? Ya look great."

"N-no."

"Well, take a look." Kitty hesitantly walked over to the mirror. When she looked, she saw someone who looked nothing like Kitty Pryde. The dress was beautiful on her. White, of course, with delicate beading all around the waist. Simple, yet elegant. She was a firm B cup now, and that was accented. Her hair was done up in a beautiful bun, with a few curls hanging down. Logan was right. She did look great. Kitty smiled over at him.

"Thanks."

"No problem kid." He grabbed her bouquet, and handed them to her.

"When are you going to stop calling me a kid? You know I am getting married." They fell into their playful banter as they walked to the door.

"Hell, everyone's a kid to me. I'm over one hundred years old." He stopped walking when they reached the door.

"You ready?"

Kitty took a deep breath and grinned.

"Hell yeah!"

**Ok well that was it! Sorry for no Kurtty fluff. Was planning on it, but I think I ended it alright... Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed. This is my first chapter story officially finished! : )**


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